I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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