somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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