I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
