pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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