I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
