There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
