After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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