Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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