could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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