Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
