her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
