he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
