don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
NoShamevember. You game?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize