Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
