just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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