Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
