We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
