absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
