I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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