The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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