"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
