i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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