I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
