no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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