whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
