nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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