Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
