I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
