If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
