I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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