school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
