Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
