Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
