2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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