Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
