whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
