She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
