he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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