I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
