This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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