If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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