just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
