so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
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