You made me cry and you don't even care
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize