I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
