guys are only as good as the porn they watch
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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