Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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