I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
