he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
