That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
