pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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