You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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