Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
