Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Be still, my beating vagina.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
