Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize