I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
