do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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