Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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