Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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