and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I looked at my own cervix.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
do herpes really smell.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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