We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
