He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
