i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
