I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
