with your own penis?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
