what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize