discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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