big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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