Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
They have beer where we have blood.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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