can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
